Remember life before VoIP? Long distance calls were an expensive business, forcing people to talk at marathon speed just to squeeze in as much information as they could. It was practically an Olympic sport: the 100-second “dash” of “hi how are you how are the kids I’m okay here oh by the way my wife is pregnant (PAUSE FOR AIR)”.

I remember having to stock up on phone cards, many of which were duds that dropped the call in the middle of a conversation, and I’d be too busy trying to talk as quickly as I could to notice that I was talking into a dead phone receiver. The lines were often fuzzy, and there was that surreal experience of hearing my own voice echo back at me. Sometimes there would be a three second delay between my talking and them hearing me. It was like talking to someone on the Moon. I’d always want to joke, “So, ma, have you cleaned out the craters?” But then that would be a waste of phone time, and besides, she wouldn’t have understood what I was saying through that nasty crackling noise. “Critters? What critters?”

VoIP has made long distance phone calls feel more like a conversation. I can actually talk leisurely, instead of quick staccato like sentences. The line is clear, and since nobody’s under time pressure you can actually enjoy the phone call instead of watching the clock. I’ve heard my nephews recite their kilometric Christmas list over VoIP without me thinking if my phone bill is going to be large enough to pay for their school tuition.

Ah, life before VoIP . It’s like life before indoor plumbing, or life before the refrigerator. You can barely imagine yourself going through that again, except to express the utter relief that those days are finally over.